he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
