This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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