..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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