Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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