i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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