Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
