Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How naked do you want me to be?
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