I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
