Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he was CRYING into my vagina
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
