You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
