Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
