sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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