is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
