All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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