yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
