I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize
