I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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