he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I would fuck him just for his dog
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
