she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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