She said her name was "party"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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