are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just puked most of my soul out..
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