suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I lost the right to judge tonight
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
