U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
