What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
