He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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