I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the day after is always just damage control
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
