We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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