We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
love makes seman taste better
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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