So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
