I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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