..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
