Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
