Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
