i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
