i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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