Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
