Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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