if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
