the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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