Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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