I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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