Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
