Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
