Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
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