I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
