Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
