oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
