He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
