Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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