Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
