My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
