I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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