Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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