if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
