Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
