I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
