he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize