# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
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