kristin has been a bad kristin
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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