Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
