So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
