How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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