So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize