she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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